Craft Fail: How not to dye a paper lantern

I had this nice paper lantern left over from our wedding.  Over the years, it had yellowed and wasn't so nice. Of course being the DIY genius that I am I knew just what to do!

I decided that I should dye it to update its look and breathe new life into it!  Perfect!

I prepared some fabric dye and while holding the lantern over a bowl and slowly and carefully began to pour the dye over the lantern.  It worked!  It created a beautiful shade of grey which would go so well in my living room.

Okay, now here's the part where the word genius beings to get air quotes.  SO...  being the "DIY genius" that I am I took the lantern outside and opened it up so it could dry quickly and evenly.  Opening it up tore that wet delicate tissue and the entire lantern exploded {literally} onto a mess of little wire coils.  It was like opening up a can of trick peanuts and having springy snakes pop in your face.  

There may have been screaming.

And that my friends is How NOT to Dye a Paper Lantern.